We are a relational being. On any given day we will relate to several if not a few dozen people. These relationships are vital to our well-being and can build us up or tear us down.
There are three spheres of relationships that we interact with. We have the public sphere, the personal sphere, and the private sphere.
Our public sphere is those that we are in contact with, but it is a cordial relationship, we don't really "know" much about these people. These may be co-workers, those who are a part of the same social groups we belong to, the clerk at the store, the person we pass on the street, and those we read about in the news. We have anywhere from a familiar to a remote connection with them, and have probably formulated an opinion about them due to our personal views.
The personal sphere consists of those who are close to us: family and friends, co-workers that we meet for lunch, and those we see on a more regular basis that we tend to share life with. These relationships give us a sense of belonging, one in which we feel valued. We come to know one another's likes and dislikes, goals and values. Our support system is established in this group. Trust and loyalty are found in our personal relationships.
Then there is the private sphere. This is simply....private, the relationship we have with one's self. For most people this is the seat of the soul. Our thoughts, dreams, hopes, and fears arise from this sphere. In our lifetimes very few people will be given access to another person's private sphere. In most cases this will be a spouse, very close friend, or a sibling/parent. Trust is vital and must be maintained to share in one's private sphere. Our private sphere controls our other two spheres.
Our private sphere is formed/influenced in one of two ways:
Conformation or transformation.
To conform is to comply with outside influences, to be molded into a shape.
To be transformed is to make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of oneself.
Conformation comes from outside one's self, transformation comes from within.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by
the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the
will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)
Conformation takes a natural approach (the consequence of living in a fallen world) to the order of things, transformation is from the supernatural.
God is our Creator, He is the only possible one that could carry out the process of transformation. He is the only one that can change us from the inside out into the person we were meant to be, for only He knows our private sphere as intimately as we do; or maybe I should say He knows it better than we do. God peels back the layers of "self" and slowly reveals our true inner beauty, the beauty that was redeemed by His Son on the cross.
Any other change other than transformation through Jesus Christ is conformation. All other influences press us into a mold that is not of Christ's design. Our private sphere, when being transformed, will lead to a positive effect on our personal and public spheres. But if we let our public and personal lives conform us, our private life suffers...it suffers because we are not the being God wants us to be. Who do we listen to, who do we follow?
As I became aware of this truth, I realized transformation is freeing...we are expanded with purpose. Conformation is stifling, it presses us into a box. Transformation originates in the Word, conformation in the world. Once we are free to be who Jesus wants us to be, we don't look to others for approval, we already have it, we are free to love others like Jesus did.
In the joys and sorrows of life, look to Him, for all has a purpose to transform us in His glorious design!
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Cor. 3:17-18
I have learned my focus MUST be on Him....my transforming power. To God be the Glory!!
