Transformed..or...Conformed?

We are a relational being. On any given day we will relate to several if not a few dozen people. These relationships are vital to our well-being and can build us up or tear us down.

There are three spheres of relationships that we interact with. We have the public sphere, the personal sphere, and the private sphere.

Our public sphere is those that we are in contact with, but it is a cordial relationship, we don't really "know" much about these people. These may be co-workers, those who are a part of the same social groups we belong to, the clerk at the store, the person we pass on the street, and those we read about in the news. We have anywhere from a familiar to a remote connection with them, and have probably formulated an opinion about them due to our personal views.

The personal sphere consists of those who are close to us: family and friends, co-workers that we meet for lunch, and those we see on a more regular basis that we tend to share life with. These relationships give us a sense of belonging, one in which we feel valued. We come to know one another's likes and dislikes, goals and values. Our support system is established in this group. Trust and loyalty are found in our personal relationships.

Then there is the private sphere. This is simply....private, the relationship we have with one's self. For most people this is the seat of the soul. Our thoughts, dreams, hopes, and fears arise from this sphere. In our lifetimes very few people will be given access to another person's private sphere. In most cases this will be a spouse, very close friend, or a sibling/parent. Trust is vital and must be maintained to share in one's private sphere. Our private sphere controls our other two spheres.

Our private sphere is formed/influenced in one of two ways:

Conformation or transformation.


To conform is to comply with outside influences, to be molded into a shape.

To be transformed is to make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of oneself.

Conformation comes from outside one's self, transformation comes from within.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)  

Conformation takes a natural approach (the consequence of living in a fallen world) to the order of things, transformation is from the supernatural.

God is our Creator, He is the only possible one that could carry out the process of transformation. He is the only one that can change us from the inside out into the person we were meant to be, for only He knows our private sphere as intimately as we do; or maybe I should say He knows it better than we do. God peels back the layers of  "self" and slowly reveals our true inner beauty, the beauty that was redeemed by His Son on the cross.

Any other change other than transformation through Jesus Christ is conformation. All other influences press us into a mold that is not of Christ's design. Our private sphere, when being transformed, will lead to a positive effect on our personal and public spheres. But if we let our public and personal lives conform us, our private life suffers...it suffers because we are not the being God wants us to be. Who do we listen to, who do we follow?

As I became aware of this truth, I realized transformation is freeing...we are expanded with purpose. Conformation is stifling, it presses us into a box. Transformation originates in the Word, conformation in the world. Once we are free to be who Jesus wants us to be, we don't look to others for approval, we already have it, we are free to love others like Jesus did.

In the joys and sorrows of life, look to Him, for all has a purpose to transform us in His glorious design!

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.  2 Cor. 3:17-18

I have learned my focus MUST be on Him....my transforming power. To God be the Glory!! 

Overwhelmed?

You come to that realization that something needs to be changed. But life is so overwhelming you do not know where to start or maybe even what your options are.

A person needs to simply begin somewhere. We are human, we are imperfect, we may not make the perfect change right away, but we need to start.

And start SIMPLY.

I used to think I needed to have it all figured out before I began. I have 30 lbs. to lose. I will go on Weight Watchers (for they have the diet figured out), walk 30 minutes per day, research healthy recipes, avoid all sugar, eliminate soda, and drink a gallon of water each day. Won't be long and I will see results, right? Wrong. A few days into my new regime and I was irritable, frustrated, wanted to eat any food in sight (especially sugar), and the scale looked the same.

Change in and of itself is a stress on the body. Most of the time change happens and we must go along for the ride, we have no say. Intentional change is positive in that we have a choice, but it is still change and induces a certain amount of stress.

We want change and we want change quickly. But life is not an emergency. Our bodies (and mind) were not made to handle large amounts of change without there being a negative effect. Give yourself permission to take the time to achieve a goal.

Make one small change at a time. One small change each week, or each month, and in a year you will be that much further ahead.

Need to lose weight?
*simply watch portion size
*resolve to walk 15 min. per day
*drink 4 glasses a water per day
*snack on fruit not a candy bar

Home chaotic?
*start a quiet time for all members
*regulate TV time
*make a schedule
*develop family prayer time

Too busy?
*prioritize, shed one activity
*Wake 30 minutes early for some personal quiet time
*change and eating/exercise habit for more energy
*set a boundary for yourself, i.e. when someone asks you to do something, ask for time to think about it

The above may be simplistic in nature, your situation much more complex, but think of one change. It is a step forward. You may question whether it is one that will make a difference, but you won't know until you try.

God has a plan and a purpose for each of us. God does not ask more of us than He is willing to provide strength for. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13) Jesus did not move at a frenzied pace, Jesus was never overwhelmed, and He did not stress about the circumstances He was in. Talk to the Shepherd, He will guide and direct.

One step at a time.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Psalm 23:1-3

This Lenten season, I am filling 40 bags (Walmart-size) of items to either throw away or go to Goodwill. One for each day of Lent. The change? Less is better....one bag at a time.

I am learning to make one small change at a time, one step at a time, in His strength.

A New Year

We all desire the chance to start over, begin anew. For many, the new year is a time to do that. I post this on January 1st, but any day is a good day to embark on the journey of change.

A few thoughts:

*Begin with yourself. And only yourself.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." ~author unknown (a thought-provoking adaptation to the Serenity Prayer)

*Change is intentional; cultivate proper thinking and proper action (and results) will take place.

A recipe calls for certain ingredients (and a specific method) to produce an end result. Life works much the same.....

 * Keep your eyes fixed on the Author and Finisher of your faith, Jesus.

"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil. 1:6

In the end, no one  knows you better than Jesus. He knows your desires and what needs to be changed. He is always working, molding you into His image. You will know no greater Advocate, or greater Love.



God supplies the ingredients....and the method; look to Him. It is really quite simple. All we need is Him...nothing else.....to change for the better.

I have learned change starts with Jesus.